On Monday, this highly hyperactive new colleague of mine sang me a ghazal in Urdu. Beautiful it was, all sprinkled with the romance of every land and every woman. But I wasn't too generous in my appreciation, being new to the place and (enviously more informed about the product than he is). But my lack of praise doesn't seem to have affected him much because this afternoon, he came to me while I had work crawling all over me.
He: Hey, your tea's going cold...
Me: Hm? Oh yeah...
He: So, what do you do?
Me: ...as in?
He: I mean, work-wise. What's all this?
Me: Oh...this....(f***! there we go again)
He: ........?
Me: Mm...I create content...
He: Oh, like that? Hm! Interesting!
Me: Yeah I know
He: How long have you been doing this?
Me: ...a long time...
Him: hm...interesting!
Me: (wth is so interesting about that?)....
Him: So! When do you want to learn Urdu?
Me: What?
Him: Urdu...when do you want to learn it?
Me: Oh...i don't think I want to learn it....
Him: Don't you like it?
Me: Yea, I do....but for now, you just sit there and sing to all of us. That'll do.
Him: If you learn Urdu I'll give you this new Parker Calligraphy set I have. Seriously!
Me: Huh? Calligraphy?
He: Yeah! I'll write your name n all with it!
Me: Look at him like he's some weird zoo animal
He:........quickly walks away

What kind of incentive is that???